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September 22nd, 2011

10:52 pm: The State of the Keith (in brief)
Well, in the last few weeks I have:

-Turned 29 (which I don't feel)
-Finally (after something like 2 years of thinking about it) started applying for new jobs, in search of better job satisfaction
-Temporarily moved abode until the previous point yields fruit
-Read a large number of books (I keep meaning to start some sort of book review regular feature on here, but naturally never do)
-Been hit in the head by my room door when an angry drunk kicked it in
-Discovered that The Big Bang Theory reminds me a little too much of my life

On the job front, I've so far only applied for three in the UK (one of which already rejected me), but I have a bunch more lined up to apply for in the next few weeks that are all around the world. Ones on the almost-certainly-apply list include positions in France (Lyons, if I remember correctly), Germany (Potsdam) and the US (one in California, one in South Carolina, one in Indiania, several in or near Chicago, and one in New York and/or Princeton). There was one in solar power research in South Korea which would have been perfect if it wasn' South Korea (shockingly, my Korean fluency is lacking).

May 2nd, 2011

04:15 pm: This seems like an opportune time for more conspiracy theories...
I've already seen people on Facebook spouting conspiracy theories about the death of Osama bin Laden, so here's some suitably absurd ones of my own, generated using this.

What They Don't Want You to Know
In order to understand why it took so long to find bin Laden you need to realize that everything is controlled by an anarcho-syndicalist commune made up of wargaming enthusiasts with help from gun nuts.

The conspiracy first started during the Reagan years in Millinocket, Maine. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including 9/11.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by their incomprehensible babbling about weapons specifications.

They want to keel-haul Barack Obama and imprison resisters in Guantanamo Bay using black helicopters.

In order to prepare for this, we all must drink the Kool-Aid. Since the media is controlled by Jon Stewart we should get our information from Stephen Colbert.

What They Don't Want You to Know (2)

In order to understand historical didacto-revisionism you need to realize that everything is controlled by an IRC channel made up of conspiracy theorists with help from the CIA.

The conspiracy first started during the invention of the Internet in Al Gore's front room. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including the rebranding of 9/11 as an act of terrorism rather than an act of trolling gone wrong.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by theirsneering.

They want to reprogram your brain and imprison resisters in a prison made of their own minds using orbital mind control lasers.

In order to prepare for this, we all must wear tinfoil hats. Since the media is controlled by David Lynch we should get our information from Chuck Norris.

February 17th, 2011

10:02 pm: Life =/= Star Trek? Or not?
You know those bits in every third episode of Star Trek (and other sci-fi TV shows) where the Captain or whoever says "More power to the [insert technobabble gizmo here]!" and the chief engineer/other clever person usually says it canna tak' any more?

I basically did that today, and it worked. (Although I guess I was both captain and engineer, since I was working on my own in my lonely basement lair.)

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

February 12th, 2011

01:31 am: [fiction] Magical Girl Academy Blues - prologue
ZOMG what is this madness? Keith posts original fiction?! Well, semi-original, since it's a pastiche/affectionate parody of anime/RPG/other tropes that started life as a bit of backstory for a character in an RPG (developed in cooperation with kagatoteg, using the Big Eyes Small Mouth system) that never got off the ground. Otaku Bill, Fr4gm4st3r, Bob the Mighty and Jack Daisuke Brain-Harvester-1000 the Third are also based on character concepts from said RPG (the former two dreamt up by me, the latter by kagatoteg).

Those interested in reading other stuff I've written are encouraged to visit my page (which features two Mary Sue fanfic parodies involving The Lord of the Rings and Neon Genesis Evangelion, a Twilight anti-fic involving crossing it over with a mildly obscure dystopian alternate history series, and an increasing number of - le gasp - non-silly Code Geass fics) and my new FictionPress page (this story will also be posted on the latter).

When they say that you can find absolutely anything by walking down an alley in Chaos City, they are exaggerating. There are some things that are too big to fit in alleys, or would try to eat them. However, it is true to say that Chaos City is almost certainly the most varied, the most unpredictable, the most exciting and the most downright weird place in all the cosmos. It owes this exalted status almost entirely to its unique location: at a nexus between (allegedly) every other world in the multiverse. The city's immense highways, built by an unknown hand, wind in every direction into the clouds that surround it as it floats through its otherwise empty corner of reality. Each road leads to a different world. (Unfortunately, some of them lead to rather inconvenient locations in particular worlds, like the bottoms of oceans or airless asteroids. This is taken by some to mean that there are roads better left untravelled, and by others to mean that the cosmos does not concern itself unduly with the convenience of humanoids.)

It would also be an exaggeration to say that you can find every sort of humanoid individual in Chaos City, for there are as many kinds of people as there are people. However, it is a fact that Chaos City's population is the most diverse of any city in existence. In its streets and arcades, almost any conceivable combination of skin colour, hairstyle and fashion can be seen, high technology is bartered alongside magic, and beings of legend, myth and pop-culture rub shoulders with one another (in fact, quite often they do considerably more than rub shoulders).

These are their stories.

Magical Girl Academy Blues
A Tale of Chaos City

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Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

January 16th, 2011

12:56 pm: A blast from the past...
I've posted stuff generated using this mad-lib style random conspiracy theory generator before, but the old link is broken and here are some new ones. New link:

An HP Lovecraft-inspired oneCollapse )

MMORPGs: even more sinister than you thoughtCollapse )

January 15th, 2011

08:08 pm: Movies we can expect to see in a few years/decades, based on current social trends
As part of my Campaign To Actually Post Stuff On This Journal, here's some silliness I've posted on various forums in the past.

In 10, 25, 50 or 100 years time, what sort of movies will evolving social trends throw up? Well, thanks to my crystal ball, I can now reveal a few!

-The 14 Year Old Virgin: A young man is ridiculed by his friends (and the scriptwriters) for not having gotten laid yet at a ridiculously late age, because he preferred to spend time pursuing his hobbies rather than chasing girls. Eventually, he falls in love with a single mother his own age.

-Earth Wars: The Phantom Menace: A long time ago, in a faraway place where people live on planetary surfaces rather than in space habitats, a trade dispute escalates into a war.

-The Dan Brown Code: A middle-aged female professor and a good-looking young male cryptologist investigate a conspiracy that seeks to conceal a shocking truth: Jesus Christ was not a rabble-rouser turned family man, but a semi-divine messiah with supernatural powers!

-Walt Disney's The Ring of the Nibelung: Kiddified version (some things never change) of the old Norse/Germanic fairytale and Wagner opera. An over-the-top villainous dwarf voiced by the computerized mind of Tim Curry and his wacky animal sidekick (the dwarf's wacky animal sidekick, not Tim Curry's wacky animal sidekick) create a ring with the power to rule the world, but are thwarted by buxom, spunky, dreamy heroine Brunnhilde and blue-eyed warrior Siegfried. Along the way they fall in love and learn many lessons about friendship, tolerance and the importance of being true to oneself. They don't, however, learn what 'be true to yourself' actually means.

-BloodRayne 42: Hyperspace Boogaloo: Horrendously awful videogame adaptation sequel, directed by clone Uwe Boll IV (remember how I said some things never change?).

-Die Hard 27: Aliens And Predators Terminate Rocky And Rambo: Action sequel, starring Bruce Willis VI, Sylvester Stallone V and Robo-Arnold Schwarzenegger.

July 17th, 2010

04:47 pm: From niamh_sage:

I write like
H. P. Lovecraft

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

To me, this is a compliment. :D I probably got Lovecraft because the piece of fanfic I fed the program was deliberately (at least in places) archaically written.

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished

April 30th, 2010

01:17 am: Clichemageddon: come up with ridiculous movie taglines!

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01:03 am: Charity clicker sites - updated list
As previously mentioned here: sites you can visit and click buttons/links to make free donations to charity (paid for by advertising etc.). Below is the current list I keep in my Bookmarks folder - note that clicking through all of them one at a time is very time-consuming, so I recommend using tabbed browsing to open one set at a time.

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